Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
