so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
