btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
