This is not my ceiling
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
