guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Rumble strips road head = magical
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
