Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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