Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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