i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
