If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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