HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
