Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
