So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
that is very illegal...i love you.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
