im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
