i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
