He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
