if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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