I didn't shave. On purpose
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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