I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
wow bdsm is so cute
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