Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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