i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
