umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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