we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
