When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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