stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am naked and annoyed.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
