i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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