good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
