Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Randomize
