I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
