There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
