Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
