Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
