i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
