Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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