Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
