I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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