Don't you send me to vm
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
