so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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