She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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