Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
