Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Randomize
