sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
