i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
