best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
