she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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