So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
