she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
