I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
