We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
