I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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