You made me cry and you don't even care
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
