question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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