i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
