I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
